I apologize in advance, I need to rant and I’m on my phone so I can’t hide most of the text.
I miss you so god damn fucking much and it’s so painful. I’m supposed to pretend that I don’t care but sometimes I just can’t do it. I love you and I’m now, well suppose not allowed to. Just because you stopped caring, doesn’t mean that it just automatically happens for me too. I’m sick of people looking down on me and thinking I’m crazy, just because I have a great deal of difficulty pretending that I don’t care when in reality I care so much. It’s not fair for people to treat me like that. I know I should just keep my feelings to myself but I needed to vent somewhere, you were the only one I could talk to about my feelings properly and at least here hardly anyone will see it and even fewer people will know who or what I’m talking about. I just want my life back. But I’ll keep plodding along doing the best I can, which isn’t much, but it’s enough to survive. Wish you’d talk to me though, the silence is fucking super hard. I just want to run away to our jungle house but all alone it just wouldn’t be the same. I miss my best friend the most, I could deal without my relationship, but the friendship is different. Time will tell I guess, just got to get through it the best that I can.
Right. I should stop now. Lurr yoo forever.
I saw someone else do this and I really liked it, so here goes…
What are ten non-physical things that you love about yourself?
1. I love my ability to love. I love with everything I am and although that leaves me open to being hurt, I never want to loose that ability to love wholly, with all of my soul.
2. I love my idealism, I truly believe that everything will work out for the best eventually.
3. I love my dedication, when I commit to something, it’s with all of me.
4. I love my hopeless romanticism, I don’t believe that finding your prince on a noble steed is only the stuff of fairy tales, well maybe the noble steed is.
5. I love my determination, if I truly want something, I’ll move hell to get it, and I won’t let it slip through my fingers.
6. I love that I love to learn. New information enthralls and fascinates me.
7. I love that I have retained my ability to be childish, or more so my inner child, I love that I adore ribbons and bows and cupcakes and I’m not ashamed of that.
8. I love my quirkiness, I am truly an individual and I embrace that completely.
9. I love that if I love someone I will put them as a first priority, over myself even. It has the ability to break me and for me to be taken advantage of but I wouldn’t have love any other, half arsed way.
10. I love that I’m constantly changing, learning and growing, but I love that some parts of me will never change.
I shouldn’t watch infomercials, I’m way too impressionable. Did I mention I now need an aero Pilates machine, a magic bullet and pet insurance?